The Best Ned Flanders Quotes of All Time

Updated June 15, 2019 49.9K views 25 items

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1.6K votes

469 voters

We all know Ned Flanders has some of the best quotes in The Simpsons, so why not rank them? Let's take a look at the best greatest Ned Flanders quotes of all time, including classic lines such as "I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?" and "Hi diddly ho neighborinos!" The order of these Flanders quotes is determined by your votes, so help shape the list by voting you favorites up and down.

Since he's a devout Evangelical Christian, many of the funniest Flanders quoutes are about God, praying, or sinning: "Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees." That's not to say Flanders doesn't have his doubts from time to time and has struggled with his beliefs in several great Simpsons episodes. In Season Eight's "Hurricane Neddy," Flanders questions his faith after his house is destroyed in a hurricane: "I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!"

Vote up these funny Ned Flanders quotes that really make you love him as a character.

1
224 VOTES
Hi Diddly Ho
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Hi diddly ho neighborinos!

224 votes
2
79 VOTES
Ding Dong Diddly
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Now what can I ding dong diddly do for you?

79 votes
3
126 VOTES
Contradicts The Other Stuff
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: I've done everything the Bible says - even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!

126 votes
4
99 VOTES
Wonderful Meat
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middleman who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys at the slaughterhouse.

99 votes
5
98 VOTES
More Time On Your Knees
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Spend less time on your back and more time on your knees.

98 votes
6
73 VOTES
Kididdlehopper
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Homer Simpson, I show you pity, and how do you repay me? With a kick in the kididdlehopper!

73 votes
7
62 VOTES
Bored Painting
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: You're never bored painting the Lord!

62 votes
8
64 VOTES
Great Sadness
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Dear neighbor, you are my brother. I love you, and yet I feel a great sadness in my bosom.

64 votes
9
60 VOTES
Extra Baggage
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Call me Delta Airlines, because I can't handle all your extra baggage.

60 votes
10
61 VOTES
Wine Cooler
Photo: user uploaded image
Ned Flanders: I'm not thinking straight, why did I have that wine cooler last month?

61 votes

11
42 VOTES
Noah's Ark
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: I got two teens in a public park going at it like a couple of gibbons in the back seat of Noah's ark!

42 votes
12
70 VOTES
I Assume The Worst
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Well I can't say for sure, but as a Christian, I assume the worst.

70 votes
13
29 VOTES
Skimp On The Puppy Dog Tails
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Bart Simpson? Why, he lives right next door to me. Yeah, when they made him, they did not skimp on the puppy dog tails.

29 votes
14
41 VOTES
Important Things
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.

41 votes
15
33 VOTES
Regular Water
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Can I make my famous mimosa? A little sparkling water in a glass full of regular water?

33 votes
16
29 VOTES
I'm Cuddly
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: If you think I'm cuddly and you want my company, come on Wifey let me know!

29 votes
17
25 VOTES
Erupt In Candyland
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Did a volcano erupt in Candyland? ‘Cause I just caught me a flyin’ red hot!

25 votes
18
31 VOTES
For All Eternity
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity.

31 votes
19
34 VOTES
Hero Sandwich
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: He's a hero all right, a hero sandwich full of bologna!

34 votes
20
36 VOTES
I Get Tangy
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: You'll find I'm well worth the wait. Like a mild cheddar, I get tangy when I'm sitting on a shelf.

36 votes

21
33 VOTES
Underlines Passages
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Sometimes God bless her, she underlines passages in my bible because she can't find hers!

33 votes
22
32 VOTES
Most Exciting Board Game
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Sorry is not just the most exciting board game ever devised, it's a word I need to hear from you!

32 votes
23
47 VOTES
Pinkberry Place
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Thank you for taking me to that Pinkberry place. It’s a lot less racy than its name would lead you to believe

47 votes
24
28 VOTES
Ignore Everything
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies that God is making happen.

28 votes
25
30 VOTES
Set Your House On Fire
Photo: Fox
Ned Flanders: Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.

30 votes