The Best Marge Simpson Quotes of All Time
- Photo: Fox1191 VOTES
Pestering Satan
Marge: Bart! Stop pestering Satan.
- Photo: Fox2127 VOTES
Could Be Smoking
Marge: Homer, we have to do something. Today he's drinking people's blood. Tomorrow he could be smoking.
- Photo: Fox3159 VOTES
A Mean Drunk
Marge: We are not staying at Moe's! Maggie's already drunk on the fumes. And she's a mean drunk.
- Photo: Fox4154 VOTES
Am I Pregnant
Homer: Marge, will you marry me?
Marge: Why? Am I pregnant? - Photo: Fox5115 VOTES
Justice Will Be Done
Marge: You know the courts might not work anymore, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else justice will be done!
- Photo: Fox6142 VOTES
Googling Yourself
Marge: And all this time I thought “Googling yourself” meant the other thing.
- Photo: Fox7112 VOTES
Show Police Chases
Lisa: Mom! Dad's on PBS!
Marge: Mmm. They don't show police chases, do they? - Photo: Fox8150 VOTES
Milhouse Doesn't Count
Lisa: Mom, I feel kind of funny wearing white. I mean…Milhouse.
Marge: Oh, Milhouse doesn't count. - Photo: Fox976 VOTES
But This Season
Lisa: Mom, were you ever planning to step in and put a stop to this?
Marge: Normally your father’s crackpot schemes fizzle out as soon he finds something good on TV. But this season… - Photo: Fox1074 VOTES
Tic-Tacs
Waiter: I'm sorry, ma'am, but everything on the menu has fish in it.
Marge: What about the bread, does that have much fish in it?
Waiter: Yes.
Marge: Well, I have some tic-tacs in my purse.
Waiter: Excellent choice. - Photo: Fox1189 VOTES
Didn't Even Notice
Marge: You know, FOX turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually I didn't even notice.
- Photo: Fox1287 VOTES
Make A Difference
Marge: I guess one person can make a difference. But most of the time, they probably shouldn't.
- Photo: Fox1398 VOTES
Terrible Life Choice
Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They just made a terrible life choice.
- Photo: user uploaded image1452 VOTES
Make Sure The Beds Are Still Made
Marge: I can't believe it! I've done all my housework and it's only 9:30! Well, better go upstairs and make sure the beds are still made.
- Photo: Fox1558 VOTES
Ugly Duckling
Lisa: I'm hideous.
Marge: Lisa, I know a song that will cheer you up. {singing} There once was an ugly duckling—
Lisa: So you think I'm ugly?
Marge: No! No, I meant you were one of the good looking ducks. That… makes fun of the ugly one. Mm. - Photo: Fox1662 VOTES
Butterscotch Chicken
Marge: Only three cavities, Bart, your best checkup ever! I'm going to make you my specialty, butterscotch chicken.
- Photo: Fox1763 VOTES
Second Place
Marge: I didn't sacrifice my period for second place!
- Photo: Fox1887 VOTES
To Suffer
Marge: These are Homer's friends and family. They don't want him dead. They just want him to suffer.
- Photo: Fox1972 VOTES
Pocket Garbage
Marge: If someone did eat Bart's shorts they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage.
- Photo: Fox2071 VOTES
Being In A Box
Marge: Can't beat a skybox. All the excitement of being in the sky with the security of being in a box.
- Photo: Fox2166 VOTES
Al-Key-Hol
Marge: I don't want to alarm anybody, but I think there's a little al-key-hol in this punch.
- Photo: Fox22103 VOTES
Room Service
Marge: Hello, room service? This is Marge Simpson. I'd like a hot fudge sundae. With whipped cream. And some chocolate chip cheesecake. And a bottle of tequila!
- Photo: Fox2362 VOTES
Had A Fetish
Marge: Wow. Three pairs of shoes. Someone had a fetish.
- Photo: Fox2440 VOTES
Superior Race
Marge: For a superior race, they really rub it in.
- Photo: Fox2547 VOTES
Mimosa
Jacques: Mimosa?
Marge: I'm a married woman. Please don't call me that! - Photo: Fox2643 VOTES
Clear Your Day
Marge: Oh boy, I'm beat. If you want to return a melon to the grocery store, clear your day.
