The Best Apu Quotes
- Photo: user uploaded image129 VOTES
Slavery It Is, Sir
Examiner: Alright, here's your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War?
Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between abolitionists and anti-abolitionists, economic factors, both domestic and international, played a significant....
Examiner: Hey, hey. Just say slavery.
Apu: Slavery it is, sir. - Photo: Fox29 VOTES
Will Be Shot At
"I won't lie to you. On this job, you will be shot at."
- Photo: Fox329 VOTES
Pay For Your Purchases
"Please pay for your purchases, get out, and come again!"
- Photo: Fox424 VOTES
A Peanut
"Please do not offer my god a peanut."
- Photo: Fox526 VOTES
I Promise Nothing
Apu: "Slap on your bullet proof vest, Sanjay. It's time for another bank run."
Sanjay: "Alright, but if I don't make it, promise me you won't sleep with my wife."
Apu: "I promise nothing..." - Photo: Fox612 VOTES
8 Children
"Squishee lady, you have not had 8 children have you?"
- Photo: Fox712 VOTES
Great Dishonor
"That is a great dishonor to my ancestors and my gods. But okay!"
- Photo: Fox811 VOTES
Lending Library
"Hey! Hey! This is not a lending library. If you're not going to buy that thing put it down or I'll blow your heads off!"
- Photo: Fox930 VOTES
Thank You
"Thank you, come again."
- Photo: Fox1015 VOTES
Windex
"Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex! Sanjay to the entrance with the Windex!"
- Photo: Fox1116 VOTES
Seven Hundred Million
"Hindu. There are seven hundred million of us."
- Photo: Fox1210 VOTES
See You In Hell
"Thank you for coming. I'll see you in hell."
- Photo: Fox1310 VOTES
Do Not Speak English
"Yes, I'm sorry, I do not speak English, okay. Yes...yes...hot dog, hot dog, yes sir, no sir, maybe, okay"
- Photo: user uploaded image1414 VOTES
My Favorite Squadron
*With a fake American accent* "Say, let's take a relaxed attitude toward work and watch the baseball match. The NY Mets are my favorite squadron."
- Photo: Fox159 VOTES
Death Race
"Some sort of death race, that is what I would do."
- Photo: Fox168 VOTES
Anticapated
"This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated."
- Photo: Fox1715 VOTES
Apu
"Apu Nahasapeemapetilon"
- Photo: Fox187 VOTES
Silly Customer
"Silly customer. You cannot hurt the Twinkie!"
- Photo: Fox1913 VOTES
Who Needs The Kwik-E-Mart?
*Singing* "Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I doooooo."
- Photo: Fox208 VOTES
On Ice
"We're putting that b*tch on ice!"
- Photo: Fox217 VOTES
So Smooth
"Oh, they used nylon rope this time. It feels so smooth against my skin. Almost sensuous."
- Photo: Fox227 VOTES
How Are You
"Hello, steady customer. How are you this evening, sir?"
- Photo: Fox234 VOTES
Congratualtions
"Oh, Mr. Simpson, I have just heard about the little bundle of joy. Congratulations, sir!"
- Photo: Fox244 VOTES
Because Of Lisa
"We're having our best season ever. And I would like to say that it is because of teamwork...gee, who am I kidding, huh? It's all because of Lisa."
- Photo: Fox254 VOTES
Recite Pi
"No sir. In fact, I can recite pi to forty thousand places. The last digit is 1."
