The X Factor: Celebrity judge Nicole Scherzinger has opened up about her past struggles with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, describing that time of her life as living in "a very dark world".
The singer has been open about her struggle with bulimia in the past and also later revealed that her second solo album title Big Fat Lie was inspired by those struggles, explaining it was like "therapy" to create music out of her experiences.
And now, following the news that Nicole is reuniting with the Pussycat Dolls for a new tour next year, the star has reflected on that time of her life once again, saying that the pressures of fame and the group's image-conscious focus exacerbated her struggles.
"A lot of that stole the joy of what I was doing, because I was living in a very dark world. I was either working or tormenting myself," Nicole told The Guardian.
The singer also added that one of the reasons she's always backed a Pussycat Dolls reunion is because she "didn't get to enjoy it before", and noted that it was only towards the end of the group's time together that she began to address her eating disorder.
"It was a real awakening for me," she explained, revealing that she was told that her bulimia was affecting her vocal cords.
And while she added that she saw doctors and did therapy, Nicole stressed: "In the end it has to be yourself."
"We all have a choice," she continued. "We can choose to beat ourselves up or go back to those old patterns, or we can choose to learn and grow and evolve and be like: 'I'm going to have to rewire my brain'."
Nicole and the Pussycat Dolls will reunite during The X Factor: Celebrity's live final on Saturday (November 30), before tickets for the group's new UK tour go on sale on Sunday morning.
The X Factor: Celebrity concludes on Saturday (November 30) at 7.10pm on ITV.
Beat promotes awareness and understanding of eating disorders, also challenging inaccurate stereotypes and stigma. Find out more at Beat's website. Beat's helpline for those aged 18 and over is 0808 801 0677, and there's also a dedicated Youthline for those under 18 – 0808 801 0711.
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