Chuck Palahniuk is an Absolute Legend

Chuck Palahniuk is a Legend

So I thought I’d like to tell you a little story today about something positive (for a change) that happened amidst the drudgery of this ridiculous pandemic. Back last summer when COVID was still a relatively new thing, that some of us had ambitiously hoped would simply disappear soon, Chuck Palahniuk ran a competition to win signed copies of his book Fight Club to lighten the darkening mood. Despite being a pretty big fan of his work I didn’t know about it, but my good friend Anne Marie did. And you know what she did?! That sneaky sausage only went and entered that competition on my behalf, with what I can only assume was an amazingly written and excellently polished essay of flattering lies about me! I did not, however, receive a signed copy of Fight Club as a result. Instead I found out that I was to receive a personalised gift from Chuck himself. Honestly, I was flabbergasted (a word I hate using as it sounds like I’m dribbling) and did a little squeal that will never be witnessed by anyone again.

The thought of receiving such a thoughtful gift from someone whose work I respect and have adored for long was quite intense. For nearly 18 years I have read and loved his work. My first purchase was Lullaby, a story about a nursery rhyme that kills whoever hears it, that I got when I was pregnant. I did not make the connection with the film Fight Club, which still remains one of my highest rated films. I was instantly hooked, filled with dark humour that made me honestly chuckle, a minimalist style that appealed to me, leaving a lot of reading between the lines for the reader, and, (not to too sound pretentious) a quick-paced postmodern narrative that kept me immersed in the various texts. Also, Chuck has his way with several taboo topics and toilet humour, and instead of shying away from them, confronts them making them the centerpiece of hilarious jokes – even if you do gag a little. Incest, bowels, sex addiction, suicide and madness, are all featured in his work - always championing the anti-hero. His prolific writing has sold over five million dollars in the US alone with several of the rights to his books sold to make films, as well as graphic novel sequels to Fight Club. And this person decided to send me a mysterious care package?! Of course I’m going to gush, completely fan-girl over it and write a post about it.

Now the package did not arrive for ages. This was nobody’s fault to be clear - I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful asshole. The parcel could not be sent outside of the US. So I enlisted the help of my pen pal Joel to send it from the states to me. He did but with COVID and my always precarious living situation the parcel was returned to him months later. I did often worry about it but there were always more pressing matters at hand. I had stopped writing mostly, and even more worryingly I had stopped reading. I was functioning on auto-pilot like many people were and are. And then one day I received a box that obviously not an ill-fitting cheaply made jumper from Wish…

I loved Chuck so much that during college I tried at every turn to work him into some of my academic papers or essays -even if the themes didn’t work. Eventually, I did find some ways to incorporate his work, particularly with his work Diary, which I felt nodded to themes connected to ‘female madness’ like in The Yellow Wallpaper, where a blinded artist is forced to paint and kept prisoner. His work was definitely something that had intersectional feminist themes in them, or at the very least issues in it that cause tension within the feminism movement now. In Speaking Bitterness, a short story from the book Haunted, a women’s retreat nearly pre-empts the term TERF, where ‘feminist’ members of the group sexually assault a woman that they believe was male at birth. Chuck highlights hypocrisy, although the Alt-Right may have had a bit of a field day taking Fight Club literally. Snuff deals with the porn industry and a star who wishes to be gang-banged to death, from an objective enough position also, showing sex workers the respect that they deserve.

I opened the box, expected maybe something small signed and… well I don’t know… saw an envelope with sections of the Fight Club comics on it – inside a card with Chuck’s likeness and signed, and a detailed personalised letter (most of which I’ve included here). He also sent a worry stone (a crystal rock) for me – which admittedly is something I need with this anxiety, a lotus incense and candle set AND a bookmark he personally crafted from beads and stones collected with his father or from his mother’s own jewelry!

Oh, and did I mention Chuck is amazing at extremely extravagant wrapping?! Yes… yes he is. I’ll be honest – I wasn’t expecting something so personal and detailed and lovely. It honestly brought a massive smile to my old emo face (and I was too old to be an emo then anyway) as everything was feeling rather suffocating and grey and endless. It made me remember that there is still a world outside my 5km radius – which is corny I know, but a little bit hopeful.

Other than simply fawning over Chuck I think I just wanted to share this because this is a man who has a positive (and somewhat romantic) outlook on life despite what his work at a superficial appears to cover. He truly does care for his fans! The gift itself was not simply a throwaway five-minute job – these gifts took time and that thought gives me a serious amount of joy. This sent a very happy reminder to me of ‘paying it forward’, which I had long forgotten becoming self-absorbed in all this current bullshit. It reminded me that people can be good. Anne Marie and Joel also doing this for me is so touching. I’m not special – but I feel a bit now and have a constant reminder of that. So Chuck (just in case you come across this) thank you so much – this is one of the most amazing things that anyone has ever done for me (and I’ve had multiple orgasms). Anne Marie and Joel – I’m lucky to know the two of you – you’re both brilliant.

To quote Chuck at the end of his letter to me:

‘Whatever you do, please never hesitate to surprise and delight anyone when you get the chance.’