Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco: Why They Can't Coexist in Cincinnati

Prior to simply signing his name on a dotted line, Terrell Owens was cast as a villain, as a horrible teammate, and as a washed up veteran looking for a last hurrah.  

Yet, once Owens announced he was signing with the Bengals, all of those concerns were quickly ousted as petty, and the celebration began.  Media talking-heads quickly recanted their former comments on Owens because "this is the perfect situation for him."

Well, actually, maybe it's not.

Taking one of the NFL's all-time biggest troublemakers and teaming him up with the league's biggest personality does not necessarily sound like a recipe for automatic harmony.

Heading in 2010, the Bengals new duo brings some big risks to each other and the team as a whole. Some may be more pressing (a.k.a realistic) than others, but the Ochocinco/T.O. honeymoon can last only for so long.  

Sure, this may work out and bring the Bengals a championship, but somebody has to play Devil's advocate, right?

Early in the Bengals' preseason game against the Cowboys, T.O. caught a short pass from Carson Palmer, marking his third of the game.  However, a flag was tossed right around the feet of none other than Chad Ochocinco.

The play was called back due to a penalty on Ochocinco, negating the catch.

This may have appeared to be an honest incident on the outside, but could this become a trend?  Is Chad already trying to sabotage his new teammate?

After snagging a touchdown pass in a 2007 Week 13 Thursday night game against the Packers, Terrell Owens wolfed down a whole bucket of popcorn, fitting his "Get Your Popcorn Ready" motto.

But Owens' appetite for popcorn begs the questions: Can the staff at Paul Brown Stadium maintain such a high demand of popcorn?

T.O. may consume loads by himself, and his influence over Bengals fans may also lead to an increased interest in popcorn.  Stay tuned.

The 2009 emergence of running back Cedric Benson brought the Bengals great prosperity, as well as a new style of play: run first, pass second.

Cincinnati rushed the ball 505 times last season, outweighing their 477 passing attempts, making them one of the only teams in the NFL with more rushing than passing attempts.

Chad Ochocinco is still going to be the largest benefactor in this offense, so might Terrell Owens become flustered by the Bengals style of play?  Everybody knows T.O. demands ample targets to prevent an implosion, but the Bengals are going to be more concerned with moving the chains than keeping Owens happy.

Combined, Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco have accumulated approximately $5 billion in fines over their NFL careers.  Okay, not really, but these two have racked some impressive fines over their tenures in the NFL.

And now, arguably the league's two most innovative touchdown celebrators can collaborate for some of the finest endzone entertainment to ever grace an NFL endzone.  Now, just imagine these two pulling out cell phones from their socks and tweeting to each other after scoring a touchdown.  And just imagine the ridiculous fine Roger Goodell would hand down.  Insanity.

If the Owens/Ochocinco combination pans out, they'll be visiting the endzone quite often, and antics of such high quality will be a regular occurrence. Owens is not exactly breaking the bank with his $2 million salary, so will he be able to afford the fines?

"You can talk about the vacation, and if you do that, it's really unfair.  It's really unfair.  That's my teammate.  That's my quarterback."

Terrell Owens broke into tears after the Cowboys 2008 playoff loss to the eventual Super Bowl champion New York Giants.  According to his press conference, Owens was wildly upset over the media's insistence that the team lost because of quarterback Tony Romo's decision to take an exotic vacation rather than stay in Dallas and prepare for the game.  (And in hindsight, that was probably a horrible move by Romo.)  Of course, Owens' relationship with Romo soon destructed, but the receiver did show more affection for Romo than any other quarterback he has played under.

Now, a lingering question for the Bengals organization is whether or not Owens will give the same love to Carson Palmer.  Palmer is a pro at dealing with diva receivers, but a quarterback-receiver relationship is a two-way deal.  If Owens doesn't provide that unrelenting love and support, this might not work out like Cincinnati is hoping it will.

T.O. didn't stick around in Philadelphia after their Super Bowl loss, and he had no desire to hang around an abysmal Buffalo Bills team.  Meanwhile, Ochocinco essentially quit on the 2008 Bengals after their season skyrocketed down the drain.  

Both players have been known to get grumpy when the going gets bad, so what might happen if the Bengals fail to win in 2010?  

Although we may like to believe that both Owens and Ochocinco have matured beyond the point of kicking and screaming and pointing the finger, there really is no telling what these two might do when things don't go their way.  

Ochocinco has stated he believes this team is capable of winning a Super Bowl, but some (including myself) believe this team has no absolutely no shot of doing so.  In fact, one could easily argue this team will be lucky to make the playoffs or finish above .500. T.O. and Ochocinco are friends now, but once Owens drops a few passes and the Bengals start slipping behind in the standings, watch out, Cincinnati.

We've all watched our share of reality television.  And if there's one thing that we've all learned from reality television, it is that people just do not get along.  This rings especially true for celebrity reality shows like Celebrity Rehab and Celebrity Apprentice when life-sized egos are forced to coexist. 

Coincidentally, both Ochocinco and Owens have their own atrocious reality shows that are truly an abomination.  They are just, in the words of Sir Charles Barkley, "turrible, turrible, turrible."

So, like Celebrity Rehab and Celebrity Apprentice, is it possible for reality television stars to live harmoniously?  Could these two get in a spat over ratings?  What if VH1 only renews one of their shows?

This could get ugly, but it probably won't get any uglier than their respective shows.

Jerry Rice's departure from San Francisco in 2000 allowed for Terrell Owens to become T.O.  Owens had broken out into a star prior to Rice's departure, but he was yet to become the egomaniacal superstar that we have come to know so well.  

Since then, Owens has not taken a backseat to anybody.  He has been a number one receiver and a focal point of the offense everywhere he has gone until now.

Chad Ochocinco is younger, faster, and better than T.O. at this stage in their careers.  Ochocinco is the focal point of this offense, and Carson Palmer will always favor him over Owens due to their long history together.  

This may or may not bode well with Owens, but he's without a ring at age 36, so he might not have a choice.

Rather than work through training camp with his Philadelphia Eagles teammates, Terrell Owens took to his driveway during his 2005 holdout with the team.  Owens conducted an outdoor workout with seemingly the entire U.S. media on hand.  Owens loathed in the attention he received, and more importantly, he was able to show off his superhuman abs.

Even at age 36, Owens reportedly keeps up an amazing physique, although Ochocinco deserves credit as well.

But these two will be competing for women across Cincinnati area.  Might they flock towards T.O.'s distinguished age and polished abs?  This may sound like a petty subject, but if a woman gets in between these two, there's no telling what kind of feud may erupt.

Chad Ochocinco, Terrell Owens, Antonio Bryant, Jordan Shipley, Andre Caldwell, Matt Jones, Jermaine Gresham, and Reggie Kelly.  The Bengals boast one of the deepest receiving corps in the NFL.  But are there enough passes going around to make T.O. happy?

We know Ochocinco will get his targets, Carson Palmer will spread the ball around to his gang of able receivers, and the Bengals run more than they pass.  Where does this leave T.O.?

If you don't feed the beast that is T.O., he's going to get cranky.  Ochocinco may be able to keep him in line, but for how long?  Owens is the diva of all divas, and while the ship may be sailing smoothly thus far, there's a storm brewin' in Cincinnati.

Marvin Lewis' battle to keep Chad Ochocinco under control is well documented.  In last year's installment of "Hard Knocks," Lewis had to give Ochocinco financial advice, prevent him from kicking field goals (until he allowed him to do so), and keep him satisfied with the amount of targets he was receiving in practice.

Set aside Ochocinco, and Lewis has to deal with a whole slew of personalities on his roster including Tank Williams and Roy Williams.

So, can Marvin Lewis possibly handle one of the NFL's all-time biggest personalities?  Someone get Marvin some weekly massage therapy, he is in for a long season.

Chad Ochocinco has emerged as one of the athletic faces of Twitter with his wild rants, verbal disputes with Shawne Merriman, and dissing of multiple media members.  

Meanwhile, Terrell Owens is slowly climbing his way up the Twitter ranks as one of the NFL's most followed players.  

Neither are afraid on confrontation, so one tweet taking the wrong way could spark a Twitter war between the two divas.  Due to Ochocino's obsession with the social network, this is an omnipotent possibility.  

Both T.O. and Ochocinco have hit major speed bumps in their respective careers.  Ochocinco had an abysmal season in 2008, and Owens is still in the process of resurrecting his pre-2008 self.

In other words, neither of these two are a lock to produce in 2010.  

And if one of these two lays a goose egg in 2010, the other won't be shy to voice his displeasure.  Neither Ochocinco nor Owens have built reputations as great teammates, and while they're on good terms now, this honeymoon won't last forever.

The Bengals run more than they pass, and they have tremendous depth at wide receiver.

Simply put, this could lead to disaster.

Upon Terrell Owens' signing with the Bengals, Chad Ochocinco forfeited the alpha dog role in Cincinnati to T.O.  Ochocinco tweeted, "You can be Batman i will be Robin, lets go!!"

Sure, that sounds like a great plan, (although I wouldn't trust them to solve any crimes) but is there any way Ochocinco will actually take a backseat to Owens?  

After all, Chad feeds off of both attention and targets more than anybody else in the NFL, and he is sure to get more of both than T.O.  

T.O. and Ochocinco are both accustomed to alpha dog roles, but Chad, whether or no he and T.O. like it, is the biggest dog in Cincinnati.

San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Dallas.  Virtually everywhere he has gone, (except Buffalo) T.O. has managed to dis, cry and force his way out of each city.  

Needless to say, the fan bases he left he behind have and will not ever forgive him for his selfish antics or the way he left town.

So, while Cincinnati is currently caught up in T.O.-fever, will this fan base truly be able to embrace such an unstable problem child once the dust settles?

Similar to his head coach Marvin Lewis, Carson Palmer has been forced to put up with Chad Ochocinco's zany antics throughout their span as teammates.  Most notably, Chad told Carson that he would move in with him and his wife in order to rebuild the chemistry the two appeared to have lost in 2008.  

Beyond that, Palmer must constantly hear from Ochocinco when he believes he was open or when he wants the ball more.  

As if that wasn't enough for Palmer to handle, T.O. has been thrown into the mix.  

Make that two weekly massage therapy sessions.

Chad Ochocinco had to weave through 85, yes, 85 women in order to find the one "Ultimate Catch" on his reality television show, "The Ultimate Catch."  Meanwhile, the the "T.O. Show" followed Owens on his journey to finding the right woman as well.

According to the Census Bureau, there are approximately 2,155,137 people in Cincinnati.  Let's say half of the population are women, trimming the total female population to just over 1 million dating candidates for Ochocinco and T.O.  Is that enough?

My buddy Mike, pinned by some as the next Einstein, provided us with a formula that could solve this quandary once and for all (remember, ! is a factorial): # of women needed = (jersey number)! / # of receptions in 2010.  

However, Mike's hypothesis did not quite match his conclusion.  "They'll basically need to branch out to other planets."  There you have it. 

Last year, Terrell Owens told the media that if he had been blessed with better quarterbacks throughout the duration of his career, he could be approaching Jerry Rice's all-time receiving yards record.

Well, Jeff Garcia, Tony Romo and Donovan McNabb in the primes of their careers sounds ample to most, but not for T.O.

So, is Carson Palmer good enough for Owens?  Palmer had something of a revival last season after his play began looking more and more pedestrian, but he is not quite Donovan McNabb or Tony Romo at this stage in his career.  

The assumption that T.O. will have a renaissance in Cincinnati has seemingly emerged as general consensus around NFL circles.  But, there is no reason to believe that will happen.

Owens is currently in a textbook decline.  

Since 2006, his receptions and touchdowns have steadily declined, while his yardage totals have declined except for a spike in 2007.  

At most, Owens will be a role player for the Bengals.  This team runs first, and has a number receiver in Chad Ochocinco already.  T.O. is 36 and possibly playing for his final team.  

Despite the hype, T.O. will probably be as irrelevant as he was in 2009.